These Are Totally Not Real Reviews

We didn’t ask. They didn’t say. But somehow… it happened.

“The ‘Haunted’ hoodie brought order to chaos.”

- Margaret Thatcher

“Darling, I’ve had eight husbands and only one hoodie that made me feel this seen.”

-Elizabeth Taylor

“The ‘Strange’ hoodie made me feel, for the first time, understood.”

- Queen Elizabeth II

“Wearing ‘So Gay’ to the inauguration would have saved me so much time.”

- Barack Obama (not really)

“Finally-fashion that says what I’d never dare admit to my analyst.”

-Sigmund Freud

“My therapist wore the ‘Needy’ one. The silence was deafening.”

- The New York Times

“So weird, it’s couture.”

- Vogue

“Diagnosis: iconic.”

- Women’s Wear Daily

“‘Chaotic’ is the new black.”

- WWD

“The ‘Loner’ hoodie says, ‘Don’t talk to me’—but make it fashion.”

- GQ

“Worn best with overpriced sneakers and unresolved emotional tension.”

-GQ

“I saw the ‘Fabulous’ hoodie and heard a key change in my soul.”

- Prince

“Put on the ‘So Gay’ hoodie and don’t speak to me unless you brought eyeliner and backup dancers.”

- Prince (again)

“I saw the ‘So Gay’ hoodie and whispered, ‘Finally, representation.’”

-Lil Nas X

“The ‘Chaotic’ hoodie… is exactly what I wore to court.”

-Doja Cat

“Dr. Phake, you are a menace. I love it.”

- Pedro Pascal

“Honestly, I didn’t understand fashion until I saw this.”

-Jacob Elordi

“This hoodie has done more for me than therapy. And I say that as someone who should definitely still go to therapy.”

-Florence Pugh

“It’s giving nervous breakdown. But make it designer.”

-Billie Eilish